Realize the difference between True Love & Romantic Obsession as it is something that many people have trouble understanding. Sitting in Romantic Obsession can cause such a great suffering that freedom becomes painful. Let's start to dive into this sensible subject with grace.
True Love or Obsession ?
An obsessive attachment is also related to codependency. Being dependent on another can become eventually obsessive and very painful, especially if the other has an avoidant behavior or simply does not care in the same way. At one point, people with obsessive attachment may become victims of abuse or victimize themselves to stay in a suffering relationship.
The main characteristic of an obsession is pain and suffering. The connection itself is painful. In a True Love relationship the actual connection is easygoing and it does not contain so much pain. Now, some people may say that it was not always that painful, and it is true. This may start as a really great passionate attraction or some other feeling that involves a lingering state of inner hunger.
This inner hunger gets mistaken with attraction, passion and love. It happens because psychological and emotional hunger can feel like longing for someone. It can get so intense that we start to get confused and think that this person is some kind of food that we cannot live without. The survival of the person is put in question and the one in this situation may feel incredible fear of being rejected or left.
True Love does not feel like hunger or pain, it feels like you are supported, accepted and that you can be yourself with the other person. A true Love relationship is based on authenticity instead of illusion.
Most people in an obsessive relationship create an idealized image about their partner and their relationship. This fake image isolates them from the truth of the relationship. Their emotions are engaged with a fake image and their energy is funneled into something that's not real. After a while they become tired, exhausted, helpless and empty inside.
Victimization is another state that is common for people in an obsessive attachment relationship. With time, people in this situation can be subjected to abuse of all kinds and to a state of total helplessness.
Most often, to get out of this situation you will need to cultivate self-love. All of the emotion and love you try to put into this connection will need to come back to you and nourish you. This is not selfishness by the way, it is the path to healing. In some way, people in this situation, view the other person as the source of their love. And this is usually the only source of love or the most preferred. This is why it is so scary to heal this, as there is an impression we will lose all connection to love. This is an illusion that keeps people away from true love.
A true Love relationship involves constant work, but the work is to nourish and increase the connection and the authenticity. The work also involves facing the obstacles of life together and finding ways to see that Love endures and persists. The work in an obsessive relationship is to try to maintain the basic connection itself, because it is so hard and so painful. A true Love relationship creates true intimacy between the 2 people. This cultivates respect, care and most of all - LOVE.
If you are in an obsessive attachment connection, know you ca heal and find people that would actually love and cherish you. It does not feel that way when you are in this situation, but others have done it and so can you. This is not all you deserve, this is not something to stay into forever. Find a way to heal and you will then also find true love.
My Experience
In my life I have experienced both types. I have suffered early trauma in my childhood and I've experienced neglect, abandonment, mockery, denial of self, lack of love and nourishment, poverty and lack of food among others. I hungered for love most of all so I had a couple of obsessive relationships, although being very much aware of what was happening.
I felt like my body was not under my control, like someone else was driving me to do this. This is partially correct. A subconscious program can be very powerful and override your consciousness, leaving you like an unwilling observer, trapped into your own body. Now, please be aware that not all people will experience this in this way, most of them will not be aware of this override happening.
I had the chance to encounter true love but even then, I was not always ok with that. The harmful programming and my initial trauma would try to sabotage it over and over again. I found this behavior to be very strange as I was aware of it most of the time. I was an observer at first and then I started to search, learn and change. It was and it is very difficult to do the change but the healing is worth everything.
The Reading
This is a mixed reading with 2 sections. First section contains general guidance for all groups and brings clarity on the subject. The second section is a pick-a-card style reading to bring more info into certain aspects of the main subject.
I feel that this types of structures are more aligned with what I can offer as they permit me to have teaching moments. I did not find a way to include visions, since I can see that this is difficult for people to accept, especially online. This is going to have to be expressed in another way, for now I keep them for all of the personal readings.
