How trauma affected my abilities as a seer

Do traumas have the power to create new abilities or not ? How exactly traumatic events affect our innate abilities ?

I see these questions being asked a lot and being wrapped in lots of confusion, so I would like to address this issue. Traumatic situations affect us in a myriad of ways but I am going to concentrate on how they affect our innate abilities.

Before I start talking about this I will make a brief introduction for those of you who are not familiar with the definitions of trauma, or those of you who would like a reminder.

What is trauma ?

Trauma consists of past energy, emotions, thoughts and experiences who remained unresolved in our psyche & body, and that still cause a great impact on our present lives. That impact is mostly felt in a negative and limiting way.

Other words that describe this, from a different perspective, are: subconscious & unconscious detrimental programming; karmic debt; spiritual, emotional & mental blockages.

Trauma includes isolated shocking events or constant day-to-day torturing situations. The long-term visible effects for traumatic events are called post-traumatic stress disorder, while for living in a daily traumatic environment we have complex post-traumatic stress disorders.

A daily traumatic environment includes many things like: violent parents or family group, insecure environment, neglect, lack of proper love & care, scarcity, racism, detrimental life philosophies, lack of resources and many others, but it is most of the times related to not getting our needs met in order to have a proper development as a human being.

When living through traumatic events or environments our survival system takes control of our minds and bodies in order to keep us safe. The problem is, this extreme situation defense system becomes our normal behavior. It was meant to function in a temporary fashion, but because it is used long-term it creates a lot of detrimental subconscious programming. Later on, this survival system sabotages our life in many ways.

Our survival system has 4 main states : freeze -» playing dead, flight -» running away, fight -» fighting for our life, and fawn -» submission to the perpetrators or situation. Our responses may become stuck into these 4 states, instead of being able to freely engage with the world.

And now let’s see how living in an insecure and dangerous environment has affected the development of my innate abilities.

What happened to my innate abilities as a response to trauma ?

My intuitive abilities started to express very early on, partly because the environment I lived in was a constant stress factor and I felt in constant danger. Since I needed to protect myself and I was so scared of something bad happening, my early visions were about negative events that were going to happen and affect me in some way.

Those visions urged me to take actions to defend myself, but I wasn’t convinced they were true so I ignored them. When the events happened I was shocked and I started to blame myself because I did not do anything to help myself. The truth is, I was a child… so it was very difficult to take appropriate actions to defend myself.

Now… don’t think that I got visions all day long, there were just a few a year and thank God for that. If there were many I believe I would have gone insane, as the images were torturing me. I constantly thought “If I cannot help myself or others, what’s the use for this ?”. I rejected my visions because I felt helpless to do anything about them.

But even though I rejected the information and visions I received, they continued to creep into my life and disturb my dreams. Because of the dangerous environment and the challenges I faced communicating with other people, my survival instincts kicked in very often and my abilities would start to develop by the force of the environment.

From the 4 traumatic responses (fight/flight/freeze/fawn) I mostly developed fawn and freeze. In fight mode, I would use my words as a very sharp sword, touching vulnerable places, and this would get me in trouble. I had no option to run most of the time and it also felt cowardly, so the flight mode was not one of my favorites. I was stuck in fawn response most of the time, trying to appease and solve my environment.

The freeze response was my go-to response, though, as it gave me a chance to escape. When I was in freeze mode, I would often go and download lots of information about the world and how it functions, why people act in a certain way, how to think/act/be better, how to heal or how to respond so I would appease conflicts.

Later on, I would start to have 2 parallel processes of thought, one that would fawn and appease my environment and one that would freeze and go exploring and finding solutions by downloading information. This started to be activated by anything. For example I would do this in a store, if the vendor was being rude; while driving if my friend was telling me intimate stuff and I was overwhelmed with stimulation; at work, when I was tired or triggered by the emotions of a co-worker and their issues.

While this was helping me download information and come up with solutions, it was also disconnecting me from the present situation and my initial response would result many times in my detriment. Although I may have found a resolution for the situation, my fears, my other felling and thoughts, remained unsolved, amplifying the stuck energy in my systems.

As you can see from my examples, the survival responses were being activated very often, even when I was no longer in danger. This made me feel out of control over my own body and experience, unable to respond to life in a beneficial way.

How did trauma affect my innate abilities ?

What the traumatic environment did was to mirror who I was in a very intense way. It pushed my abilities to grow faster and find solutions, but only in the direction of survival. It does not mean that the solutions were good solutions, but it enhanced my best characteristics early on.

Our innate abilities are not created by the environment we live in but the environment plays a major role in developing them in certain directions. Because my environment felt dangerous and insecure, my innate abilities were pushed to develop in the sense of keeping me alive. This may have been useful for a period of time, but not for long-term.

I liked the fawn response because it was natural for me to be empathetic, intuitive and to try to appease conflicts. I loved the freeze response because it gave me the possibility to download information and contemplate on things, while escaping the dangerous environment.

The problem is this is not a way to live, it is a way to temporary survive. What happens in trauma is that our subconscious gets programmed to think the temporary survival responses are normal or very important, and this is how we should live all of our life.

Although my intuitive abilities were enhanced to help me survive, they were also suppressed in other areas they might have been more useful to me, when not in survival mode. The enhancement itself produced other issues as well, like nightmarish dreams and torturing concrete visions of future events that I felt helpless about.

Suppression pushed what was not needed for survival deeper in my subconscious, creating a split. Now I had one face that I was forced to show so I felt safe, and another face I felt forced to hide. The thing is, the face I felt forced to hide contained a lot more of me than the one I felt allowed to show.

Because intuitive abilities are not instinctual, they need a certain calmness, security and time. Pushing them to be used in danger mode, created an association with fear and anxiety and a traumatic response. Most of my life, when I would get a vision or a powerful intuitive download, and I was not already in freeze mode, I felt terrifying fears.

The extreme fear of getting tortured by very negative visions and the helplessness got triggered every time I tried to consciously use my intuitive abilities. This then triggered other traumatic memories in a sort of chain-like fashion.

It took a lot of time and self-development work to detach the fears from my conscious use of intuition. I needed to heal the traumatic memories and responses in order to be able to use and develop my innate abilities. Paradoxically, It was my own innate abilities that helped me understand and heal most of my traumatic memories and responses.

I still get anxious and fearful sometimes. It is still an ongoing practice, but thankfully I have learned to better handle this issue and develop trust and faith.

Do traumas have the power to create new abilities ?

Did I develop new abilities ? From my understanding as a seer, knowing so much about how personality develops and how abilities appear, I would say yes, but in a very specific way. I developed new ways to grow my innate abilities and other things started to develop in support of that. Those other abilities were there all along, as a small seed, and were related to the innate abilities I already had.

From my experience with other people, my clients, loved ones and myself, trauma does not create new abilities, but it pushes the innate abilities to develop and by doing so it also creates new potential for related abilities to develop. Those related abilities were a potential that is now forced to appear. Without the trauma, those potential abilities might have been left dormant.

This does not make it better or worse, it’s just how it is. This does not mean that the potential abilities may not have been developed at all or not even discovered through other ways, but trauma has a way to push what seems to be important to the surface a lot faster.

The main issue is that the new abilities, as well as the innate abilities, need to be refined in order for them to be used in another way than in survival mode. Many times, these new potential abilities, may work against us, when you are adults or we are no longer in survival mode.

It is the healing that helps us develop new potential abilities, and not the trauma itself.

This transformation is done through self-development work. Self-development work, heals and integrates the new acquired abilities with the old ones, in a homogeneous way, so they start to work in harmony with all that you are.

How trauma may affect your innate abilities ?

As you’ve seen in my case, trauma creates a lot of modifications in terms of developing your innate abilities, no matter what abilities you may possess.

When we live a traumatic event or in a dangerous environment, it is normal that we try to use our best abilities to try to survive and solve the situation. But by doing this, our innate abilities remain entangled with traumatic memories and confusion.

Many times, we may avoid using our innate abilities as it is so uncomfortable. We may say, that we are confused and do not know anything about what we enjoy to do, in order to avoid the pain associated with this experience. This of course, it is not valid in all cases, we can just be confused by other motives or not know ourselves.

Because of trauma, parts of your innate abilities may lie dormant or morphed into something that limits their use and benefits.

In order to keep me alive, my intuitive abilities morphed into some kind of logical intelligence and perfectionism, which created great doubt, self-destructive and suppressing thinking patters, lack of trust and lots of confusion.

Yours might have morphed into something else. For example a gift with making money may have morphed into stealing, due to needing to survive as children in a dangerous time or environment. A gift for sexual healing may have morphed into being an underwear fashion model. A gift for non-verbal communication might have morphed into manipulating others to talk and take actions for you.

In case you find that this may be your case, consider exploring and healing your traumas in order to recognize and find a healthy use for your innate abilities.

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Celeste

Mystic Seer, passionate and ardent for deep understanding of self and the world. My favorite tools are contemplation, listening to the divine, Tarot, visions, sound meditations and art. May we meet in the space between words, where love expands into experience.

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