Not all seers will have their abilities consciously known or expressed since childhood, but this was the case for me. Some of the things I will talk about below will also be thanks to an expanded consciousness about the spiritual realms, which is not necessarily present with all seers. The expanded consciousness makes it easier for the abilities to be known to me, since a very early age, and also shapes the way these abilities are perceived and expressed. When I say expanded consciousness does not mean an all knowing perspective, it means my circle of understanding is more expanded in a certain specific direction.
Some of you may be astonished by what I will share in this article, and feel like it cannot be real. It is ok ! I had lots of time to deliberate if I was crazy or not, so I know how it is. These things may not be normal for the majority of the population but remember that there are always exceptions to any rule.
Because beliefs are intimate, I couldn’t possibly ask someone who has no direct experience of what I will explain to just believe it. Many people will have very few connections in their consciousness with these types of experiences, just like I have with other experiences that are somehow at the opposite spectrum of mine. You are not required to believe blindly for you to interact with me. To me, many of the other people in this world are very strange from other points of view, so I get it.
If you are here, you probably have more than a few connections with this. Openness to accept and respect different experiences as a possibility in existence, that you may not know or understand about, is usually my desire and expectation from others. I feel this is reasonable and will include anyone, creating a space of incredible growth.
Since I remember many things from my first years of life, this may be unusual or odd. I did not remember by hypnosis, regressions or other processes. The memories were always with me, like any other memory. Until I’ve read similar things from other seers and I’ve learned about the energetic bodies, I considered these experiences to be very strange.
You may be surprised to know I am very skeptical by nature and that have a high degree of doubt, which has helped me be very curious to analyze things and find out what is what. I grew up in a traditional environment in which these types of abilities were considered not to exist and I also have a traditional earthy part in my personality spectrum.
Concerning the clair abilities, I consider them to be normal for some people, just like any other abilities on this Earth. All of us have our predispositions and innate abilities that we may develop in certain directions. Our abilities are usually always with us. We use them regardless of what we were thought or what we are doing, but we just might never know it.
First Challenge : Using my physical body
In the first 2-3 years of my life I remember having a really broad experience of direct sight and a sort of on/off switch to my consciousness. I would have moments of being extraordinarily aware of who I was and my before this life personalities, at the same time with trying to realize the fact that I am in a tiny new body.
I could see my auric field and some of its layers. The way I saw it, the tiny body of the baby sits perfectly inside the big auric field of a fully grown adult auric field template. The adult template feeds the tiny body until its maturity and beyond it. The functionality of the body grows with time and natural development, allowing the consciousness to express more and more on this plane of existence.
The body of a baby is hard to interact with and very difficult to maneuver, from the point of view of the consciousness living this experience. It’s like you’re trying to move an ant with your big thumb without harming it. Sometimes the body cried because of me not knowing how to use it or interact with it. It does not matter if it’s not the first time, it is a new body with different sensitivities and specific ways of functioning.
I remember looking at my tiny hands and trying to enjoy this new body, at the same time, a bit annoyed with the loss in functionality and the harsh limitations, compared to an adult body. I could not keep this consciousness active for a long time, so I would generally disconnect or go to sleep, leaving the automatic programs to run. In this case, my consciousness retreated in the other auric bodies in order to rest and let time do its job.
I needed to switch off being conscious because it takes a lot of energy to stay awake at the level of the body and constantly feel all of the energetic adjustments done, in order to attune and nourish the body. For the physical body, it is not efficient to keep active the higher consciousness either, since it will influence its automatic programs and slow them down for a while.
For me, the experience was a bit strange but oddly familiar. I would feel I can no longer be conscious and switch off. This was not connected to what I was doing or what was happening around me. I could be playing happily with a toy and at one point, switch off and rest.
With practice, I gained the ability to use the body and be able to stay conscious and connected to the body for longer periods of time. It felt like an effort to learn to connect and use the physical body.
This awareness still serves me now in order to access the other layers of reality but it is also a weakness. Since it is easy to disconnect from the physical body, I need to have a strict discipline to interact with the material world and to take care of my physical body. I may literally forget I have a physical body.
The disconnection I experience now is different to the one I had in the first years of my life. The body has grown, the auric connections are done and there is a lot more functionality available to be experienced. When it happens, I experience a state of heightened awareness, a state of high information processing power, a concentrated observation mode or a relaxed peaceful tenderness. The focus of this state depends on what I am experiencing at the time. Sometimes, if I go deep into this state, I will have difficulties speaking or interacting with an object or with someone else.
In case you are wondering I do not need to enter this state in order to read energy or receive visions, but is is a similar state, let's say at the beginning of entering the vibrational spectrum of this state.
Second Challenge : Empty Space and Contours
My next challenge was about energy, colors and how to see clearly defined forms and contours. I had a hard time adjusting to the colors, the energies and the edges of objects. It was really difficult to distinguish contours and delimitations, like the edge of a table or the contour of a person. I would try to get through objects like tables & chairs, since for me they did not appear to be that solid. I would get very annoyed I could not do this and also because I was hurting myself bumping into them.
I realized other people do not see things like I do and from my perspective, the energy view was pretty complicated and prevented me to enjoy the beauty of nature and its limitations. Imagine seeing people inside these layered sacks of colors and swirling energies, or a table filled with all sorts of tiny colorful shapes and odd looking moving things. It seemed like too much visual stimulation.
I would squint my eyes and try to remove the energy from what people usually call “empty space”, in order to make things clearer and be able to see things like other people. After tons of squinting and imposed will, I managed to enhance the contours and remove the energy and colors out. I was very happy about this accomplishment.
I am still happy about this, since I consider that seeing with my internal sight is enough. When I look with my physical eyes I want to see sharp contoured objects. It makes things much more clearer and simpler. Sometimes, when I am very relaxed, the colors and energetic stuff start to reappear. Immediately, my habit of turning this off kicks in and all gets back to normal. I feel better with it off, but I know that some seers get to keep this on if they find it useful or specialize in this area.
With the development of willpower and control, the habit was stabilized. I am particularly attracted to beautiful views and nice sharp contours. This helps me spot differences, what is not ok with something or someone, and enhanced recognition of how things are unique.
Third Challenge : Extra Depth of Perception
With time, my abilities started to grow and expand. I became more sensible and many things in my environment, that others didn’t seem to have a problem with, became sort of dangerous. I suffered from being forced to eat things I knew were not going to be ok for me, for a long time, since it was not allowed for me to eat using my intuition. The same thing happened with actions to take. I started to better realize consequences of actions but I was supposed to follow, obey and never think I know much of anything.
This is one of those unfortunate traditional views that may help in other cases but not in mine. Although strange, highly intuitive people do not learn by external experience that efficiently. What I needed was to learn by listening to my own inner experiences and the conclusions and guidance coming from there. Since most of the times the answer comes without personal physical experience, we need to learn how to apply it and understand it. It is like a reverse process. I have some answers but I have no idea what to do with them, in the beginning anyways.
As I grew my confusion grew too. I couldn’t understand why other people wouldn’t see what I saw or what I perceived. I was told most of us have the same potential and capabilities, so I wondered why I would not see this in reality ? For me, consequences of things or how things would develop in the future were many times obvious. It was very difficult for me to communicate about my perceptions, since if they asked me to explain I would not always be able to. The question “How do you know that ?” would many times paralyze me. I constantly felt I did not know anything and people expected me to know, especially at school.
Many people & children had this impression of me knowing so much, while I constantly feared my intuition would not work when I tried to retrieve the next answer. I lived in constant uncertainty.
Since I had no support, no one who could recognize my innate abilities and help me understand them, I had no idea what I was doing and felt constantly in confusion. I could not understand where I got the answers or the visions from and why. I feared them and tried to make them stop. I did not like how people around me responded when I would come up with a strange answer. I felt totally helpless about this and only expressed my abilities in the direction I felt was allowed.
The higher depth of perception made me feel I lived in another world. As a child, I did not have the words and definitions to explain what was happening to me. Equally, it was impossible to take power over this and find out what I needed. This brought me in a state of disempowerment & shame, and the only possibility I found in that moment was suppression.
It was like I learned to hit myself in the head every second. This was especially difficult for me, as it lead me to limit the use of my abilities, ignore and suppress them, even though constantly living with them.
For other people, having this ability, to see more than others, may seem magic or may seem like an advantage. My early experience was of being fearful of it, not having any control over it, not knowing why or how it works or what to do with what I saw. I was not born with knowing all of this and it was not readily available either.
One thing people have a hard time understanding is that even if you see something or receive some information, it does not mean it is the ultimate answer you need or that you always know what it is, how to explain it or how it works. It also does not mean that you can immediately get that information through claircognizance, since you still need a base of understanding. We still need to learn, analyze, and process the information needed to create a foundation of understanding that will then help us understand other new information.
This experience of disempowerment & shame influenced everything for me. It took almost 2 decades of my life to open up to what I suppressed in that moment as a child. Unfortunately, I did not know how to do better at the time.
The good thing that came out of this is that I learned to deeply understand how these abilities work. My journey to remove the traumatic adaptations and the conscious fight I daily had with my intuitive abilities, lead me to discover many aspects about their functioning. I am now better equipped to recognize illusions, fantasy making, cognitive fallacies, deceptions, mental blockages, emotional influences and many other things.